Reports that Rulebook was “hard to swallow”
A quiet evening of boardgaming took a bizarre turn Saturday night when local woman, Ivana Chompsky, was hospitalized after consuming several components of the popular boardgame Food Chain Magnate.
“It started with the pizza tokens,” said her friend, Cody Names, who was seated next to Chompsky. “We thought she was just joking when she popped one in her mouth and said, ‘Tastes like victory.’”
“It didn’t stop there,” said Cody. “Once she started dipping cards in salsa, we knew it had gone too far. I think I heard her mutter something about ‘internalizing the mechanics.’”
“We see this all too often”, say nurses at the local hospital, “and it’s getting worse.” It’s true. Boardgame ingestion has gone up 170% in the last year alone, according to authorities. As boardgame artwork has increased in visual appeal, more players are curious if the games themselves have also increased in deliciousness.
“People just can’t resist,” said Nurse Joy Harrison, head of the hospital’s new Board Game Ingestion Unit. “These games are practically begging to be eaten. You’ve got pizza tokens, burger meeples, and even soda bottle-shaped score trackers. It’s a recipe for disaster – and indigestion.”
Thankfully, Chompsky is in stable condition after an emergency operation to remove what doctors described as “a surprisingly well-organized supply chain.”